In most of our lives, there’s the public story, and then there’s the other one.
Here’s a chapter from my public book: Some of you may know my husband Rob nearly died of a brain aneurysm in May of 2021. Since we have many friends and family members in various places, not to mention our global homeschool community, I shared much of our journey on Facebook.
After a truly miraculous summer of recuperation, Rob returned to work as a full-time physician three months later in September. We still celebrate his recovery and attribute his healing to the grace of the Lord, along with many prayers on our behalf.
But you might not know we’ve had two aneurysms in our family.
Answered and Unanswered Prayers
Twenty-eight years ago, in the summer of 1996, our then-eight-year-old son, Jeff, suffered a brain aneurysm that left his life hanging in the balance for months. It happened “before the internet,” so much of the account of his excruciatingly slow recovery is in my journal.
Like Rob’s situation, the Lord also brought Jeff back from the brink of death in answer to many prayers, but He has not answered our prayers for Jeff’s complete physical restoration in this life. There are weeks and months of empty pages in my journal in which any desire to capture a mother’s still broken heart was overridden by the daily exhaustion of caring for a special needs child who couldn’t sit up, eat or talk while I tried to care for, let alone enjoy, our three-year-old daughter.
As we brought Jeff home on December 20 that year, still with many medical needs, including a brain shunt and tracheostomy, we experienced a mixture of gratitude and trepidation as we sought to comfort our son and ourselves, but the future seemed gray and dim. How could we answer our son’s questions when we didn’t have the answers ourselves? I knew my “faith glasses” needed a new prescription, and Christmas came to the rescue. In the moments of contemplation of the ordinary people involved in the Christmas story, the Lord began to correct my vision.
Looking Forward to the Second Advent
I had to understand that as much as it was proper to look back at what Christ has done at Christmas and afterward, we also needed to look forward to what has not yet happened, to the entirety of the hope of Advent. I needed to live in the truth of not just the first Advent, but also the second Advent.
The Lord didn’t show me these things overnight, but, eventually, a better view both behind and forward has helped us live in hope today. We have learned to comfort ourselves with the entirety of Scripture. Of course, we love to reflect on the miracle of the incarnation, ”God with us.” We worship the baby in the manger, then look beyond the Nativity and pause in wonder at the suffering servant and resurrected Christ. We point ourselves to his second return as reigning King. We need the promises of a new heaven and earth, not the least of which includes a body for our son made whole again. (Philippians 3:20–21)
Looking forward helps us be ready for Christmas.
The Daily Call to Respond in Faith
This corrected view also transforms ordinary daily living. As we come upon the Christmas season year after homeschooling year, we long not to be exhausted at the thought of Christmas, but we, having barely finished the turkey leftovers, often allow our human limitations to overwhelm us.
But even these ordinary limitations, as well as the grief and disappointments of life and the effects of sin in the world and our family, have helped me love the Christ of Christmas more.
The account of the people in the first chapters of Luke gives me the most encouragement as a mother. I love to contemplate what the chosen of God were doing the day before their world changed.
Take Zechariah and Elizabeth, “walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord.” (Luke 1:6) Mary, a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph. Shepherds, watching their sheep. Weren’t they simply walking in simple faith and obedience? Weary with grief and without much hope that circumstances would change, did they encourage themselves with the Scriptures and God’s promises?
In the days just before the angel’s visit, I wonder if Elizabeth was overwhelmed with the sorrow of unfulfilled longing for a child. Whether for his longing or simply out of a desire to relieve his wife’s sorrow, we know Zechariah prayed for a son. I wonder how many times they comforted themselves by reading or reciting Malachi 4—I’ll let you look it up. And then perhaps Elizabeth, in obedience, took a meal to the poor or a new mother, living out the Proverb, “He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” (Proverbs 11:25) Can I do the same?
Just as daily living and walking in faith today rarely get social media attention, I think of the many unwritten chapters and verses of women and men responding in faith despite great sorrow while they carried out the ordinary tasks of life. Can I do the same?
After John was born, Elizabeth and Zechariah had to live the often ordinary routine of raising a son as tired older parents. (Is it just our family, or has anyone else joked about a young John popping grasshoppers in his mouth to impress his elderly parents?) Neither Elizabeth nor Zechariah are included in the later gospel accounts, so I have to assume that John suffered the grief of losing both of them. And would his cousin Jesus have comforted him with the genuine hope of His arrival? Can I live in that hope?
Preparing Our Hearts for Advent
My prayer for us this Christmas is that we might be ready for Christmas in a new way this year. I know my Advent vision continues to need adjustment. We are the people waiting for a better country, a home where righteousness dwells. We are, in many ways, like the faithful ones in Luke, waiting for the complete consolation and redemption of Israel. What if today is our “day before?”
As we celebrate our Lord’s first Advent, we rejoice that the Scriptures have been partially fulfilled. May we all live today, this Christmas, and into the New Year in the hope of their completion. May all the celebratory “things” fade to their proper place so our Lord finds us eagerly and expectantly awaiting his arrival!
“For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of his government and of peace
there will be no end,
on the throne of David and over his kingdom,
to establish it and to uphold it
with justice and with righteousness
from this time forth and forevermore.
The zeal of the Lord of hosts will do this.”
—Isaiah 9:6-7
Leah Coll teaches Latin 2 & 3 at Wilson Hill Academy.